I'm a list person. I don't stick to it always, but I get a sense of achievement when I cross items off the list. Jobs that need doing, things I want to achieve, things I have to do but don't like doing, the list goes on. I know the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! Some days the day just goes and nothing has been crossed off the list! Reflecting back... was I just lazy that day? Sometimes the answer is yes! Other times things cropped up that I hadn't planned for and the time just disappeared.

And so the list is either rewritten or just added to for the next day, and so it goes on. Have I ever got to the bottom of the list? NO!

This is just like our spiritual life: I write of things I desire to achieve, or become, or change in my life and some days I don't achieve anything, or so it seems. The Spirit is willing but the human flesh is so weak. Does all of this really matter? Yes it does and at the same time, it doesn't.

God has given us responsibility for who we are, who we are to become, and we are to develop ourselves, our gifts and abilities. Remember the parable of the talents and the servant who didn't do anything with the one talent he was given? God was not pleased because the servant hadn't even tried to use the talent to produce more. But God also only expects us to do this as humans can. Because only God can do that extra in our lives:-

• that supernatural development,
• that supernatural energy we so often need, and
• that supernatural sense of peace, feeling of joy, and revelation of His thoughts for our personal lives.

And so it comes back once again to 'be still and know that I am God.'

And so I come back once again to sit at the feet of Jesus and say (so often),

"I didn't achieve anything today Lord, or I didn't behave well today Lord. Here is my human weaknesses, transform me, help me with my list. I give you my list rewrite it for me by putting on it things you want me to achieve, to do, to change and give me the strength, ability and patience to do this."

And do you know what happens? My list is not a pressure anymore. Yes, I still write them, and I still get a sense of achievement when the list shrinks in size. However, I have given all of it to The Lord of All Lists. Now I can feel so free, and I can achieve way more than I could ever imagine - just like it tells us in the Word of God.

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