I really felt discouraged recently. I guess I’d been waiting for someone to pat me on the back and tell me what a good job I had done. But that just didn’t eventuate. So, I questioned whether or not I had actually done a good job. I wondered whether all my hard work had been in vain because the reward just wasn’t there.
We as humans really long for a reward and desire recognition when we do a job well. But in this instance, I had been looking in all the wrong places for acknowledgment. Should my motivation for achieving things be a tangible reward? This experience made me question my ‘purity’ of heart and then turn to God feeling repentant for putting myself first.
God sees our heart and says, ‘the first shall be last and the last shall be first.’ God rewards us but maybe we won’t see it this side of heaven. He is the person that I should seek after to get recognition of a good job well done.
Then I started questioning what was the good job I was meant to do? What was my purpose? Why was I put on the earth? Yes, it was to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind and to share the good news of God the Father, Jesus the son and the Holy Spirit! But what was my job that God has assigned just to me? I’m really trying to seek Him out and His purpose for my life. I don’t want to waste my life or go down the wrong garden path.
Each morning when I look in the mirror, I see a woman getting older. This makes me aware more and more that I have only a short time on this earth and I have an ever-increasing urgency to make all my time worthwhile for God. I want to give Him glory in everything I do and say.
In the last few years, I have often said to my friends and family I want to grow old gracefully. This has lately had extra special meaning. I will reword it for you, I want to get older with God’s Grace fully in my life.
So, I am trying to seek God’s grace in everything I do and not waste a minute of my time. Maybe I won’t really know what I’m supposed to do, but I will seek God and His Grace, so I’ve got a better chance of knowing and I’ll get to know God more through seeking Him. Wow. A reward INDEED! I think I’ve found my pat on the back in knowing more and more the love of God for me.
May these jottings from my journal inspire you to believe in and fall in love with Christ- the hope of the world, as stated in Jeremiah 17:7, ‘Blessed is the man who believes and trusts in and relies on the Lord and whose hope and confident expectation is the Lord!’